We will fold and freeze together

My hole, I'll get my hole, I'll get my hole
Get my hole, get my hole and I'll find out more.
It's a choo-choo train, a rocket launch
If we have a hormone race
i'm bound to finish first.

Can you see in the dark?
Can you see the look on your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off,
You don't know know who's in your bed.

It takes more than fucking someone you don't know to keep warm.
Do you really think that for a house-beat you'll find your love in a hole?

Oh, you won't find love in a,
Won't find love in a hole.
It takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm.

I'm drunk, I'm drunk
And you're probably on pills
If we've both got the same diseases
It's irrelevant girl
And the room fills with steam
Oh, evaporates disappears
My point of entry is the same way
That I leave

Can you see in the dark?
Can you see the look on your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off
You don't know know who's in your bed.

It takes more than fucking someone you don't know to keep warm.
Do you really think that for a house-beat you'll find your love in a hole?

But, you won't find love in a, won't find love in a hole.
It takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm.

You won't find love in a, won't find love in a hole.
It takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself-
SEE in the dark!
Can you see the look in your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off
You don't know know who's in your bed.

It takes more than fucking someone you don't know
to keep warm
Do you really think that for a house-beat you'll find your love in a hole?

Photography is full on at the moment.
I still havent scanned all my negs from NY yet :( ill do an entry on NY when i have!
Ive been building a set with a group of photographers for a set project in uni at the moment that takes up most of my time.
i have two days left.
Progress so far:



( They'll never get to college, but they sure look cool )

"I am here, I guess so. I think that's what this work is about. Exploring the ideas that I don't just exist in this place physically but in life in general. My obsession with the body plays through from a self portraiture objective to an impersonal form that lacks identity. I would say my work reflects how I deal with life with who I am and want to be. My life wouldn't be one theme or motif. I used traditional film just to reaffirm that I existed, I can hold evidence to a moment in time. I want to hold onto something so intangible. Place your hand in mine, I guess I want to live."

Halloween was a good night out.
i hope i remember more.

I got another tattoo.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/one_evening1945/

Its a vicious cycle, from feeling low to feeling ostracised.
To knowing I am loved everyone but lack that intimacy with one.
To not having that special someone.
To being alone.
to feeling low.

Second year of University. First House I've lived in without family. Shared accommodation. Me and 4 other friends have a nice semi detached house in Cornwall. I go to Falmouth Uni.
I like what ive done with my room. Its small, single, downstairs & by the kitchen, but boasts a great view of the garden and Amazing for sunsets. I love it.


( A moment, a love, a dream, a laugh )

Holga 120N
Fujifilm - 120 PRO s & Ilford HP5



( +7 )

Underpinning photography work to relevant themes ideas and research is dull.
Holga 120N - Fuji PRO 120
Diana F+ - Fuji film Velvia 50



( you saw me standing alone )

I need to stop telling people about my mum and her round the world trip.
Its im just THAT jealous.

I love famz.
but you knew that.





Colour Co-ordinated Family.
A Symphony of Blue.

...a man in a tight t-shirt just sat down and tried to show me with his eyes that he loved me for being so honest so fast and so late. i was going to explain to him that it wasn’t a performance, but a year ago it would have been, so i just let it go. Christ im alone.

I guess I have lost any zest for this situation right now. I hate being responsible, bills rent food degrees friends boys can all fuck off. Im going to be reckless.
Heres my house. and some other photos. Ish.


My Room is the large window downstairs.

( Spit to see the shine )

www.100abandonedhouses.com

im addicted to these house's. i need to write a proper entry. But im far too stressed. soon.

I have spent the day crying.
I am soft for crying over a house and a city. My Mother keeps telling me. Think onwards and upwards.
But i'll miss you Liverpool.
Ill miss this house. The memories. I moved here when I was 11. Ill miss my room, the times Ive had in it.
the 7th of may 2006.
14th of december 2007. in particular.
Ill miss the city. the people the memories. The People who are moving have signed the contract for 3 years.
Uhh.
Hello World. Embrace me. im too upset to embrace you.

Today was perhaps the best day of summer.
Here I go again. Eggs in once basket.
The Pokemon event lasted all of 10 minutes. I got the special Lv. 100 Regigigas. They didnt give out Darkrai.
LAME.
But the Date. THE DATE.
The guy, we will call him the guy as im not sure what to call him yet, his name is Francesco Paris. He is excellent. A gentleman, interesting, funny cute and just swept me off my feet. I mean he travelled all the way up from London for one day. We walked round liverpool, to the docks and round the Pier. Then we walked round cathedrals and through parks. We walked in the sun, the overcast, the rain. we laughed, he held my hand in the rain in the park.
He looks like Jack from Lost. see ref Here.
He has travelled. He used to travel in his childhood with his parents. He has the best accent. He knows the right words to say.
Officially smitten on a first date.
"FOR GODS SAKE GARETH PLAY IT COOL"

Consequently im being a teenage girl and cant stop listening to Love song by Taylor Swift.
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Day2. day 1 was cancelled.
Why do I do this to myself. My 6th Pokemon Event. God almighty I'm 1 a loner. 2 a geek.
Oh Violet from thursdays Private Practice I sympathise with you.
I have a date today.
With a 29 year old from london. Weird. He travels alot. HE'S BEEN TO LAMU. exciting.
I am incredibly nervous.

One Day Ill find the motivation to write a proper journal when I have actually done something.
It seems I can only write a journal when im venting.
Family holiday in the Lakes.
I love family.

This holiday is Dull. This Holiday is Slow. This holiday was full of intentions and hopes. FAIL. Ive done fuck all but spend money. I am shit with money. I need help. I have about £1200 coming out my bank in the next two months with an income of £400. UHH!
Mother leaves in 29 Days.
I just need to get out of this house. I need to get away from Liverpool.
I hate the memory of Colin.
I hate the reminder of sean and phil. Its not that I want them back. I just dont want them to be happy untill I am. Selfish I know. Its just I can't handle it. I hate the 'gay' scene. I hate the fact Im returning to Cornwall where there is no one of interest. I hate that I want to do things but have no money. I hate the fact I can't get a job.

I am the un employable.
I am the new generation. These signs bode ill news for my prospects in later life.

I wish I could fast forward this holiday. Its the part in the film where nothing happens. Where the character hasnt learnt his lesson but is just. There.

I am determined not to post anohter angry depressed journal entry like this this summer.
We leave liverpool on the 25th of August for good.
Tomorrow I go to my grans.
I come back thursday. The week after that my Uncle and Aunties come over to england for a family holiday. Then the week after that We move.
I wish I would just move now. UHHHHHHHH.



I wish Id hit puberty already so I can grow a tash.

Fever Ray - Fever Ray
CocoRosie - La Maison de Mon Rave
Iron & Wine - The Shepherds dog
Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion
Ruby Throat - The Ventriloquist.

5 Albums I currently love. I am growing a back bone. I am not rushing and gushing over love. Lets keep our heads in future.

I want to contemplate the effect a pair of Fine eyes and a pretty face can have on me.
I am Jealous. I am the green eyed monster.
I am also resigned to the fact that living in Falmouth im not really going to get a bf. I know I had David but he wasnt what I wanted, just someone to fill the gap.
I want a bf.